I am now 6-month-of-life.

I don't know if I'm any wiser.  In fact I just discovered that I've been too long in Paediatrics that I don't know much about adults anymore.  I have to relearn everything again. 

Somehow I actually am able to function post-call.  I can even watch TV at night without falling asleep.  That is, on a good post-call day though.

I learned to laugh whenever I can, because the opportunity rarely happens.

And no, I still don't have a boyfriend.  LOL.

I stumbled onto this fabulous piece of article about the author's experience of having intravenous fluids for recurrent asthma attacks when she was younger. 

How funny it is to read the perception of the 'punturee', having been the puncturer.  Honestly I don't like inserting IV drips - being attached to two specialised wards consecutively makes me a dunce when it comes to managing general cases (let alone managing rare ones) and I lacked practice of inserting IV lines.  Every attempt I will start with a breath of 'Bismillah' and hoping fervently that I will get it on the first try.  Do you parents/guardians think it's fun for doctors to prick your kids?  It used to break my heart listening to babies crying and kids about my youngest sister's age whimpering while being held by the nurse or the parent.  Now I try to focus stoically on my job while hoping the first pain will be the last. 

Like what the author said,

What extraordinary people they are, those brave souls who can bear children's cries.

I would not say I'm brave.  During my first week I was intensely irritated to hear children's cries in shopping malls because it would remind me of work.  Now probably I have a heart of stone, getting better at inserting IVs perhaps, and gush 'Sayang' and 'Ah Boy' and 'Dear' to my heart's content to the child and not forgetting to complement what a good boy/girl they are when it's done.  They usually will forgive me when they get well.  If there's any braver soul, it's the nurses -- they are the ones who have to keep up with the children anyway.

Last night a mum asked me why I was not sleeping -- it was 1.30 am.  I said I still had work to do.  Oh you're on call, she said and smiled appreciatively.  This is not the first time someone asked me this, but coming from a person who does not work in a hospital and not having a medical background -- I think I will remember this for a long time indeed.

I think I'm getting the hang of everything now and I am figuring out ways to catch up with sleep.  I actually took advantage of 30 minutes of rest on my previous oncall to take a nap before my blood taking at 12 am (yeah poor kids) so that I wouldn't be too hung up should I have to clerk patients at 2 am... which I eventually had to do. People who have never been sleep deprived will never ever understand what a sleep deprived person is going through.  But I guess I shouldn't whine because it will be a lot worse during my Medicine posting.  At least during this posting I can actually sleep (sometimes) during oncall and have time to eat lunch.  I guess this is harder for me since I know how the UK system is, and I thought I knew how the Malaysian system is (36 hours of work during oncall etc) but NOTHING has prepared me for this housemanship... not even the workshadowing I did for 6 weeks back in Belfast. But seriously... I am glad to be back.  At least during my free time I can go off with my friends for a quick cuppa and a movie or go to the mamak.  And my mom actually prepares Milo for me for breakfast... What's my age again?  And yes, now I have an MP3 player!  Now I don't know how I lived without it -- how uplifting it is to listen to The All-American Rejects while waiting for the LRT.  Now I (insert Sony icon here) my RapidKL/LRT trip home.

I notice I'm getting more 'comot' day by day.  I try to wear foundation.  I try to wear compact powder.  I bought the most recent gloss by Revlon.  Nothing works.  I guess the 'comot' look is a look of fatigue -- how can I get rid of it?  

Probably the kindest thing a person has said to me is not: "When I get stressed I try to look at the positive, for example if I have to be on my feet all day it's exercise for me."  By the way this comes from a person who works in an office.

The two kindest remarks people have given me are:

1. "Del, bila masa kau tidur??"  -- After I told him how many times I was oncall during my first week.

2. "Kalau kau nak gila Del, call lah aku."

Thanks, you know who you are.

I'm having leave for a few days starting today.  I guess I should thank my lucky stars for actually having my leave approved so early in my course of work.  It's not a casual leave -- I have to watch out for my two sisters who are starting school today.  My roles are to open the gate whenever they're home, get food on the table and if necessary rush off to buy books and stationaries.  Yep it's back-to-school time, boys and girls. 

Despite having leave, I got into a bit of an emotional mess today.  I got emo on my sister and my brother, bit my nails while watching Bawang Putih Bawang Merah (which is not really eyebrow-raising) and also while watching Jessica Simpson's music video A Public Affair (which should signal something is REALLY wrong), and cried while listening to Elton John 5 times. 

My horoscope said today I would suffer from accumulated stress and should find ways to vent.  I tried exercising but didn't work.  Maybe I need an MP3 player.

Abu finally called after a month and a half of no news.  I guess I shouldn't be too peeved -- perfectly viable excuses, had to feel sorry for him, and I accidentally called him by another guy's name nyahahahaha. 

Work ain' too bad.  Having a bit of a leave soon.  No more 'every other night' on-calls by January.  Getting the hang of prescribing drugs and IV fluids.  Learning the BNF for Children.  Will learn about dengue since 'tis the season.  And I'm oncall tomorrow... shucks.

For new HOs/MOs who just returned from overseas:

1. Buy at least 2 white coats.

2. Learn dengue and TB. 

3. Body spray <-- very very important!

4. Set another ringtone for your wards.  I cringe whenever my phone rings after two nights of being oncall.  Hating your handphone is a lot worse than despising your bleep.

5. Wearing contact lenses while oncall is very uncomfortable due to the lack of time to even take it off.  Make new lenses for your specs if you need it. I definitely need it but have to wait for my parents to come home.

6. When you're oncall, buy lots and lots of water when you're on a break to tapau to your oncall room.  The feeling of dehydration is worse than hunger.  Bring some snacks from home as well.

Selamat Hari Raya Haji!  If you have extra Raya food, don't forget me who will be stuck in the hospital all day and night tomorrow.